Why I’m Glad The iPhone 3g Won’t Have Video Chat June 10

• Posted in Apple, Rants, iPhone

For the last few months rumor had it that the new iPhone 3g would have an extra camera on the front for video calling.  There are a few phones with one-way video calling available on the market already, but none with a user-base even remotely comparable to the iPhone.  Considering how influential the iPhone (well, Apple in general) has been lately, this would have brought video calling into the mainstream.

It turns out that there was no truth to this rumor.  Steve Jobs, our “fearless leader”, made no mention of video calling when he announced the second generation of the iPhone on Monday.  At first my little heart was broken… then I realized the potentially hazardous implications video calling could have on my social life.

Video calling is destined to become the most devastating weapon in the arsenal of a chronic drunk dialer.

For example, consider the following scenario:

It’s a Friday night.  You’re at the bar with your friend and the drinks keep on coming.  We all know how most guys (and gals) get when they’ve had a few too many; suddenly you’re on a mission - a mission that, if successful, will end in a bedroom (or car, broom closet, bathroom at Taco Cabana, etc.)  The next thing you know, it’s 4:00 in the morning and you instinctively reach into your pocket.  You pull out your iPhone, scroll through the contact list, take a few moments to let your eyes re-focus after that last shot of Jäger, and lightly tap your finger on a name.  Any name, as long as it belongs to a member of the opposite sex - or the same sex, whatever floats your boat.

So far, it sounds like any other drunk dial.  Usually, you have two options at this point - voice or text?  Whatever choice you make, you can always use the story that “some random guy” got his hands on your phone and started harassing everyone in your address book.  I mean, it’s hard to tell who you’re talking to on the phone based only on their voice, am I right?  Either way, with these options there’s a good chance you can deny everything tomorrow.

Imagine that you have a third option - phone-to-phone video chat.  This is where things get a little, well…sticky.  You no longer have that glorious deniability factor - they know it was you.  They saw your face, or even worse - in your drunken state, you decided to give them an impromptu “show”.  There are countless ways that video calling could leave you hiding your face in shame the next morning, with no chance of using that “random guy who grabbed your phone” as a scapegoat.

Being a drunk texter who will be getting the new iPhone in July, I’m glad Apple didn’t include video calling.  Sure, it would be awesome to video-chat with family and friends whenever and wherever, but I’d rather not spend the rest of my weekends regretting last night.

Tags: Apple, iPhone, rant, video